The day I was witness to Billy Graham preaching.

Billy Graham

Read about the day I was graced by the preaching of Billy Graham .


Be grateful for your grandparents.


To any grandchildren out there, appreciate your grandparents and learn from their wisdom; I never knew mine as my grandmother died when I was only three, and a few years later we moved away from our family in Yorkshire when my father got a job in Bristol.

The next news I had of my grandfather was that he died when I was 16, as I was at college at the time I was unable to say my goodbye to a man I admired, even if I didn’t have the opportunity to know him.

I did get one offer to write for a publisher.

Six years ago, I was offered the opportunity to have a writing contract by a publisher in Miami; I turned the offer down, after weeks of second-guessing my decision I was still questioning what I did because at the time I was concerned that writing porn stories would damage my rep as a writer.

Now, at the end of my time, I think I should have accepted the offer even if the idea of writing for a publisher with few limits turned my stomach at the time. In the end, they were the only publishers who offered me a genuine chance to get published, what does that say about my writing?

Janey (1)

The only thing that counts is MONEY!

It isn’t the reading itself that I find hard, it is the thought that a publisher had the belief to give a writer the belief to write the story that is painful for me.

I once held the misfortune to believe that being a good writer would help you succeed; the only thing that matters in life is money, without funding you have less chance to succeed than a snowflake has of landing on a fire.


The Pilgrim.

I feel like the man in this song, was the going up worth the coming down?


I hope you are enjoying this blog as this month will probably be the last you can keep up with my news; I am losing interest in writing and life in general.
This sentiment is nothing new; I have felt like giving up for the last four years after the success of Forgestriker everything has gone downhill faster than a train with no brakes.

I kept hoping for an upturn in my fortunes, but it never came, so in the end, I got forced to admit that I wasted the last ten years trying to earn a rep for myself as a writer. 
The one thing that kept me back – other than not pushing how good I thought I was at writing – is that without money you get nowhere in life.
After this month, I will not be writing, so my last two e-books will never see the light of day; most likely they’ll end up in the trash pile like the rest of the writing I did this decade.

There is no conflict of interest in my opinion.


I can understand why people may think I could have a conflict of interests when my erotic romances sell, mainly because this year I am centering on Christian Fiction stories. What you need to remember is that I have been a writer for a decade; I have never denied I write erotic romance stories. Yes, Lana Pawcel is me; it was a pen name I used for a short while. The character arose from one of the earlliest stories that have not been seen outside three close friends. Lana does reappear as a character in my Chronicles of Mark Johnson series.